i always forget guys have bellybuttons
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
