I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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