She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
