That's intense
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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