i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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