All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
