I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
