Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
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I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You made out with two different species that night
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
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you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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