I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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