I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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