Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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