all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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