You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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