We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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