im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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