I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
