It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
