She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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