someone get that fucking seahorse.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I forgot how hot balto sounded
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I know her cup size but not her name....
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