suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
