Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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