I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
