He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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