Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
