Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
