I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think i have herpe
just one?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
