I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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