We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
