..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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