You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
