And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
