its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize