New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
