oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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