honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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