Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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