get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
