i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
