My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
