As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
