Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
