I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i out mim tonsoeep
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
