I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
