I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
