Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
