It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im holly from the hills drunk
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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