That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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