Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he fucked my hip out of place.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
