Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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