Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
