And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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