what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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