Porn is love you can see.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize