When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours