You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
