i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
