Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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