I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
