Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
