I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
