New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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